I feel like dying because I no longer love you.That’s why I’m desperate.I wish I were old,my life’s devoted to you all.I wish I no longer existed, because I can’t love you.That’s the thought which came to me in the night club,when you were so bored.今晚我有一種垂死的感覺，是因為我不再愛你了。這就是我感到苦悶不堪的原因。但愿我已經衰老，但愿我的一生已全部交給了你。但愿我已不復存在，因為我不能再愛你了。就是這樣。這就是我們坐在夜總會里，當你感到極其無聊的時候，我所產生的想法。_But if this is true,if you feel like dying…it means you still love me.No.it’s only pity._I never gave you anything,I was completely unaware.I go on wasting my life,like a fool…taking without giving or giving too little.If you mean I haven’t much to give,you may be right.I used to spend afternoons reading in bed.Tommaso would call and find me there.He could have taken me,I wouldn’t have resisted,out of boredom.But he was satisfied to watch me as I read.All those purposeless books.Two hundred pages a day,I read so quickly._I’ve been selfish.Now I realize that what we give others comes back to us.Do they think their music will improve the day?_Lidia,let’s settle this.Let’s try to hang on to something we are sure of.I love you.I’m sure I’m still in love with you.What more can I say?Let’s go home.When I awake this morning,you were still asleep.As I awake I heard your gentle breathing.I saw your closed eyes,beneath wisps of stray hair…and I was deeply moved.I wanted to cry out to wake you,but you slept so deeply,so soundly.In the half light your skin glowed with life…so warm and sweet I wanted to kiss it,but I was afraid to wake you,I was afraid of you awake in my arms again.Instead,I wanted something no one could take from me,mine alone…this eternal image of you. Beyond your face I saw a pure,beautiful vision…showing us in the perspective of my whole life…all the years to come,even all the years past.This was the most miraculous thing to feel for the first time that you had always been mine.This night would go on for ever…united with your warmth,your thought,your will.At that moment I realized how much I loved you,Lidia. I wept with the intensity of the emotion.For I felt this must never end…we would remain like this all our lives…not only close but belonging to each other…in a way that nothing could ever destroy…except the apathy of habit, the only threat. Then you wakened and smiling,put your arms around me,kissed me…and I felt there was nothing to fear.We could always be as we were at the moment…bound by strange ties than time and bit.今早我醒來時，你還在沉睡。我從夢中徐徐醒來，聽到你那沉靜的呼吸聲，透過垂落在你臉上的縷縷頭發，看到你的眼睛……它喚起了我的激情。我想出聲叫你，把你弄醒，因為你睡得那么深沉，幾乎像是沒有了生命。在朦朧的晨曦中，你臂上的肌肉和你的喉頭像是在顫動，溫馨而滋潤，我真想把嘴唇貼上去。但一想到這樣會打擾了你的睡眠，會再次使你在我的懷抱中醒來，我便克制住了自己。其實，我寧愿占有這樣一種東西，沒有人能從我這里把它奪走，它是屬于我所有，也只屬于我一個人所有：那就是你永遠不變的形象。透過你的面龐我看到了一個純潔優美的幻象，從另一個角度反射出你和我，它包含著我的一生，我的未來，甚至我和你相遇以前，我一步一步向你走近的那些年代。這當中最奇幻的一幕便是我第一次感覺到你從來就是屬于我的；這一個夜晚將永無盡頭，將無限地持續下去，而你就在我身邊……你身體的溫暖、你的思想、你的意愿和我融為一體。那一刻，我意識到了我是多么愛你，強烈的激情使我熱淚盈眶。我覺得那一切永無終止，將要占滿了我余生中的全部歲月，不只是靠得這樣近，而且感到我們是屬于對方——這樣的生活沒有任何人、任何東西可以破壞，我們面臨的只有一個威脅，就是對這種生活習慣了而變得麻木不仁。這時，你漸漸醒來，睡眼惺忪地微笑著，伸手把我抱住。于是我感到不再擔心，我們會像此時此刻那樣永不分離，被某種比時間更長久，比習慣更堅固的東西緊緊聯系在一起。_Who wrote that?You did.